Into the Tiger Vortex

If there’s one thing you for sure don’t want to go into it’s the Tiger Vortex. I know it sounds like fun and all, but trust me, you probably wouldn’t like it very much. Some wizard named Gizmorella made it like a thousand years ago and it’s gotten bigger and faster and more tiger filled ever since. 

Gizmorella didn’t set out to make a vortex filled with tigers, she just wanted to not get killed by one that was trying to eat her when she was in the jungle. When it jumped out at her from the bushes she tried to quickly banish it to the negative zone, but she had her wand turned the wrong way and instead banished it to the positive zone. The positive zone is this really nice place filled with a bunch of happy creatures called the fluffatroms. They basically just hold hands and sing all day and everybody agrees they are the greatest most cutest little guys ever.

Gizmorella realized her mistake right away. She knew the tiger would rip the poor little fluffatroms apart like cotton candy filled pillows because that’s what tigers do and that’s what the fluffatroms are made of. She quickly flipped her wand around and cast the spell again and it managed to hit right before the tiger disappeared. Its mighty jaws were already dripping saliva all over the place looking at the fluffatroms and thinking how delicious their candy insides were going to be when suddenly it felt itself being pulled backward. “Aw beans!” it thought.

The only problem was that the two spells were pulling it in opposite directions. The tiger just spun there in midair, swirling around faster and faster. It went so fast it started to suck in all the plants and trees and monkeys in the jungle into itself. Gizmorella tried to double the power of the negative zone version of the spell hoping that would suck the tiger away, but instead the spell hit the tiger and now there were just two giant cats instead of one.

 “This is not going well.” thought Gizmorella as she watched the monkeys being eaten. 

After this had gone on for a while a couple other tigers showed to see what was going on. Cats are naturally curious so they got too close and got sucked into the vortex as well. Gizmorella tried to stop them but she panicked and dropped her wand which immediately got sucked into the swirling mass of chaos. The wand just started shooting off its last three spells, which if you remember correctly were Banish2PositiveZone, Banish2NegativeZone, and DoubleDown. The combined effect was that the vortex kept getting bigger, faster, and more full of tigers. 

That’s when Gizmorella just put her hands behind her back and walked away whistling like she knew nothing about it. 

Anway it kept growing for years like that without anyone knowing because it was in a part of the jungle people didn’t go to very often. When it was finally discovered the government decided it would be a great way to get rid of both unwanted trash and people who they labeled as dissidents. 

That’s how I ended up getting thrown in anyway. I gotta tell you it’s been fairly unpleasant, although not quite as bad as I thought. I mean the tigers pee all over the place and there’s a bunch of garbage so you can’t even begin to imagine the smell. They don’t eat you anymore though. I guess enough junk gets thrown in that they’re pretty full. They’re also really dizzy from all the spinning so half the time when they do eat something they just throw it back up. Again it’s a pretty gross place. Still, I’ve made friends with some of the other dissidents, and the other day someone threw an old Game Boy in that just needed batteries (there’s like SO many batteries floating around in here). 

I guess I’m pretty adaptable or whatever, but like I said at the beginning, you probably wouldn’t like it very much.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close